City~!

Ah yes, the city. Oh how i wish to be in the City right now. Just, feel like wanting to get out of the house, and treading around a CITY~!

Recently, been walking around and vising Singapore, and yea, ahhhh how i would like to go back there~! Yea the City! Or even Kuala Lumpur for that matter of fact.. Well i'm not complaining nor whining. Studying in TARC here in Segamat, well has its perks and also cons.

It's very peaceful for one, not much distraction where you can really concentrate on your studies. I mean, common it's like a Dead town here, the usual place you can go if you want to hang out is, err Local Cyber Cafes, Karoke and Mac Donalds. Yea, i guess that's about it. Your best friend are your Friends. Oh, without them it's one BORING Life here.

Staying back for the weekends here is just simply, BORING. Ahhh, not much to do. Well, at least going out for Futsal later, that'll be cool. But yea, i'm sooo going to have a City Life after i graduate from my Diploma here in Segamat. Degree, or even Masters for that of fact MUST be done in a City. Haha..

I guess, in a way its a good thing cause i'm able to experience the BEST of two types of world. One, Serene, peaceful & Boring life, another with the hussle & bussle of a city Life rushing here and there with Entertainment galore!

You know, sometimes i still ask myself, what in the World am i doing here in TARC Segamat? LOL! I could be in Singapore Poly or some College in KL. Well, sometimes i get confuse with this too. But i mean, i know larh God has a plan for everything.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

God has His ways, his purpose & his plans.

1 Corinthians 2:9 However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him...

Well, at least i'm going back JB the next coming weekend and going to Singapore! Yea! To visit a Dear Friend of mine which i can't wait, *cough cough* haha, and also to visit Heart of God church and being in a City~! Can't wait lah! Seriously can't! Patience Beven patience.

Ohya and p.s i'm sooo going to work in Singapore in the future. Just have to wait it out here in TARC Segamat and finish my studies, cannot cannot cannot give up. Must fight till the end, even though how Boring it is here.

Jiayou lah! =)

Twitter~!

Ahh yes Twitter. Recently, just started using twitter and yea, well i'm in love with it~! Even though, its like a simpler version of facebook, but the best thing i love about twitter is that i'm able to write anything i want on it~! Because, i only have friends in Twitter whom i know and well, can trust. In facebook, there's like so many people! And, don't feel as comfortable to share personal things about my life. So yea, Twitter has come and don't think it'll leave anytime soon.

It's a place to vent out what i want to say, but can't in Facebook. Awesome...=)

A start of something New?

Well, i have no idea where this will lead me. I have to admit that this is really something, it's really something that i don't think i'm willing to let Go off just like that. I just hope & pray that this will work out, really i do hope this does. Hope i'm not also being a fool once again. I've been a fool many times, and i hope i'm not gonna be one Again.

God Help Me, Lead & Direct Me...

Dancing...

Ahhhh, Dancing.. Recently started to learn dancing and yea, after so much procrastination and dreaming, i'm finally on my way to be a dancer. It feels Great dancing, i mean i love it~! Love moving to the beat of the music and at the same time learning new steps and stunts to add on to your arsenal of moves to do while dancing. AWESOME~! And besides, i mean it's a GREAT FORM of Exercise. Really, you use your entire Body while Dancing. And yea, i'm basically feeling the burn in my muscles now, ahhhh.. Tired tired tired now...

Beginning to learn to dance, reminds me of when i first started learning Guitar too. It wasn't easy in the beginning, the time, effort and pain your have to go through. But in the end of it all, it's all worth it... Well, will keep practicing and do my best~!

Well besides dancing, there's another thing. I mean, even though i've started learning dancing, i have some friends. Their like so skeptical when they heard i'm actually learning to dance. I mean, i'm disappointment with their responses, it's like their teasing and looking down on you.. And i'm like, common we're friends right? We've spent so much time together going through ups and downs, the least you can do is Support & Encourage your buddy when he's pursuing something he Loves. Not tease, look down nor discourage them. That ain't the way man, that ain't what REAL friends should do...

Have to get over this and just ignore their remarks or discouragements. This will NOT hinder me to pursue my Dream~!... Jiayou~!

Being a Leader...

You know, ever since coming to college i've or i believe God has been thrusting me into many leadership roles. I mean, i'm place in positions where i have to lead, to decide, to plan and to determine. I mean, its true, it's a good right? Being able to lead & learn at the same time to be an even better leader.

But at times, honestly it can get so tiring & hard. Being a Good Leader ain't an easy thing. It ain't. Sometimes, the people whom you lead, can expect so much from you. As if your a God. And when you don't meet up to their expectation, or in the process screw up, well here comes all the arrows. Complaints & blunt attacks which, well at times can really be hurtful or depressing.

Honestly, before this i never thought of myself as a leader. I've always look at myself as a worker, who takes orders from people and obediently just follow. However, even though i was bless before to have various opportunity to lead, but i mean yea i never looked at myself as a Strong Leader on which people can really rely & depend on. Honestly, i know my faults. I'm indecisive at times, i stall in making decisions, i worry too much and think too much. With that said, why would anyone follow me or let me lead them? There are many Leaders out there whom are better than myself.

But even with all my faults, yet God has choose me. Why? God choose me to lead my PR Class. Why? God choose me to lead the events in my class Why? And now God is choosing me to Lead Christian Fellowship in my College. Why? Why? Sometimes, i ask myself & God this questions. Even with all my faults yet God choose me.

I guess its like how God choose Moses in the bible huh? Even with all his faults, yet God choose him to lead His people. I'm not saying i'm Moses, where i'm totally not. But i can relate to how Moses felt. Why me of all the other people?

They say Leaders are Made. Maybe that's what God is doing now? I've been stretch to my limits lately, Plannings, organizing, directing, solving problems & making decisions. Having so much responsibilities on my shoulders. Honestly, it's tiring. But, true enough from my heart, i'm enjoying all i'm experiencing now even the all the challenges which comes my way in my Heart. I look at myself, woah Beven. I can't believe it. Your actually looked to as a Leader. People actually depend and follow you. Woah, seriously? Even i find myself hard to believe it.

I just pray & hope i'll be able to continue to lead with wisdom, courage & patience and become a better leader to not disappoint God nor the people God has given me to Shepherd.

God, help me to Lead the people which you've given me to Shepherd with Love, Patience & Wisdom. Amen...

Busy'ness

Oh noo.. Recently, have soooo many things to do that it has pile up the a big extent. Gosh, deprived of sleep recently and with tons of things to do. Drama, assignment, presentation, rehearsals study...Gaaah.

God sustain me through this period...

Lost~!

Well, i'm basically here to blog or to write about a particular incident where by which I actually got LOST in a mountain. Yup, you heard it i literally got LOST in the Jungle on a Mountain which is Gunung Lambak. It happened well about three weeks ago. And yea, why am i blogging it only now? Well, i would say i was kinda lazy to blog about it till now~! Haha. So here is my story and experience by being LOST in the Jungle, my experiences, struggles, fears, hope and lesson. xD

Well, it started first as a simple hike up Gunung Lambak planned by a church. So well, i was free that time so well tagged along. Well when we arrived at the foot of the mount, boy were we excited. Like kids with ice cream. haha LOL... And i mean, it wasn't my first time climbing up the mount, this would be my second, so i thought, ahhhh second time no big deal.

My friends were saying stuff like, ahh i'll race you to the Top! This is easy lah! And they were betting around. But boy oh boy,were they gonna regret what they said.

And so we began our journey. Or slow tedious hike up the mount wasn't easy as the path wasn't straight, well it was only for the very beginning. After that, it was a real tedious hike up. I stopped quite a number of times to for big grasp of air. And thought man, i should have trained more before hiking up. And so we climbed and climbed up the mount. Encouraging each other along the way and also competing at the same time. Cause well, Boys will be Boys lah haha. Thank God, all of us managed to reach the Top. And boy oh boy, that feeling of Euphoria you get after shedding all your sweat, effort and work and finally accomplishing is simply Awesome.

So at the top, we rested, took pictures and simply marvelled at the wonderful scenery that behold in front of us as you can see as the first picture at the Top. But trust me, it looks soo MUCH better in real life.

Well, then friend said we should be getting down soon. But, we had to go to the toilet. And yea, where else could you go to the toilet then in the Forest? I mean the Forest is your Toilet man. haha.. So, then we went exploring around the peak of the mount and found a mini toilet i would say. I mean, someone must have dug a hole and place a stool there. So yeaa, my friends took turns pissing there while i just piss at the trees. *OKAAAY, NOT IMPORTANT INFORMATION LOL!!! =.=" *...

Anyways, after that my friends saw a path. They started saying that they took this path before, but honestly it looked very creepy with hedges of branches covering the path and it seemed as if no one had took the path in a long long time. Well, but they kept insisting that they took this path before and it was a short cut. Well, initially i didn't want to take that path, i mean common its like a death sentence lah. But well, i thought of the thrill & adventure and well, even if we die we die as Brothers, which i regretted saying, =.=". So, all of us began our track down that uncertain path. Much like in Life huh? When we take an uncertain path and have no idea where it'll lead us. So i just followed them as they lead us

As we hiked down, that path slowly disappeared and gave way to even denser hedges of branches, trees and leaves. I mean, you could barely see where your going. But it was thrilling it really felt as if your own a big adventure. My friends in front kept saying, oh we see a path in front! We see a rope in front! But you know what, there wasn't a path nor rope in sight =.=". But we kept on going.

Then a friend said, well since we've already tracked down to this point, lets just continue down cause we'll bound out to end up at the bottom of the mount. So we agreed and continued on.

The path only kept getting worst and worst. Until a point where we just stopped. Looked around, and admitted, alright "We're Lost". We're seriously LOST in a Jungle. By then, morale was at its steepest. To add on to the bad news, we finished all our rations of water. We were all tired, thirsty, dehydrated, devastated and frustrated. Moreover, the soil on which we stepped on wasn't hard soil. It was soft and muddy. We practically had to use our entire body grabbing branches and trees for support. The condition was terrible.

To make things worst, i got poked by a branch in my eye which hurt badly, *OUCH* and my Little Brother, * Ahem ahem, you know a Guys Best FRIEND cough cough* got kicked by my friend accidentally. And boy, it hurt like mad. Imagine always watching in the movies where the bad guy gets kicked in the nuts? And ever wondered how it felt? I'll tell you its NASTY...

We continued on tracking down until a point we said, alright we have to stop! We're not going anywhere. And so we decided to track all the way back up. And boy was it tiring and tedious tracking all the way up. I mean, i was literally exhausted. Try hiking for about 3 hours? Yeaa.. I mean, i was filled with anguish and devastation until a point where i actually thought, am i going to DIE?

I started thinking about Life and thought there's still so much i haven't done yet. This can't be the end, can it? I don't want to perish here. There's still so much to do and to be accomplish. God i don't want to Die here. I made a desperate prayer to God begging Him to spare us and allow us to survive through this ordeal.

And so we continued on hiking, battling our fatigue and growing anguish. And true enough, i've never experience anything like this before. It was one big Adventure. We continued battling up the Hill, overcoming the odds and finally, thankfully we arrived at the top once again.

I don't know how to express the feeling. I was so so Happy that we reached salvation. There was an uncle & auntie at the top and gave us some water to drink and boy, Water Never Tasted that GOOD. Then the uncle & auntie guided us down the mount, even though we were exhausted but at least we're on the right path. And after 4 grueling hours of hiking, we finally arrived back down the mount. My legs were shaking but felt so Happy that we're basically saved.

I guess, this ordeal has thought me this in Life. Life, is really fragile. You won't know when your very existence might just end like that. As i was battling the mount, i thought of all the things i regretted not doing and all my weaknesses and things which i haven't accomplish. I thought about how i wasn't Brave enough in many instances in facing Life's struggle where many times i'll just bail out and escape. It thought me, to really face up to your challenges & be Brave. Live your Life with no Regrets.

And of course, Love God. Cause i know even as i was battling the mount, God was helping me all the way.

So that's my story, and yes i know its LONG. Sorry to strain your eyes though. Shalom & Take Care Everyone. =)

Guitar...

Well, its been almost more than a week now since i'v last lay hands on my Guitar, and boy oh boy how i am missing it soo much now... How i wish to hold it in my arms and play it. Gosh... Alright, i'll be honest, have been kinda lazy brushing up my Guitar when i had my Guitar with me all the while especially during my semester break. But like when you need something so much, and realize its not with you while in the back of your mind, knowing you had it all along before, it mean it really Stinks. Its like not giving the appreciation as it deserves only to regret when its gone. I guess at many times in life, that's how its like huh? We'll only start appreciating something or someone for that matter of fact only when its gone huh? I guess its a mistake, i've been making all to commonly. And yes, its repercussion well just Stinks...

Lord Help me to Appreciate the things in Life you've Bless me more...

Sometimes...

Recently i've read this qoute, it says, Sometimes God doesn't give us what we want, not because we don't deserve it, but because we deserve Better. I mean, in some ways i agree to it. Have always been longing for something, but i don't know why, up till now the answer from God has always been no no no no. Sometimes it really can get tiring, or frustrating. But i guess, God knows whats Best huh? God knows what is truly Best for us and desires to give us the Best. Why? Because God Loves us more than we can ever understand. Uh huh.. Haaaaaaaa, guess need to continue to have Faith & Trust in God.

Lord help me to learn to have more Faith & Trust in your Lord. To have patience in you for you have your own perfect timing Lord...

It really Stinks...

You know, it stinks to be sick. I mean, who loves being sick? Okay lah for those whom are REALLY Desperate to get Leaves, getting sick is your Golden Ticket. But for us, i mean who loves being sick? It affects you so much, hinders you from obtaining your potential, pulls & drags you down. Man oh man how i HATE being sick now.

Previously about 2 weeks ago i went mountain climbing. And i got those small little scratches around my arms and legs thanks to being Lost in the Mountain that is, =.=". But everything was fine. After about a week, i don't know why, this small cuts started swelling up until an extent it looked as if i contracted some disease or something. It was dead serious. I went to see two GP doctors and both prescribe their medicine, but there was only slow recovery. And up till today i went to a third doctor, a skin specialist which concludes the total to three Docs. And now, the Doc has given me Steroids, yeaaaa STEROIDS my goodness its some heavy dope man.

The worst part of all these is being absent from College. Gosh, have to be absent for One week of college and i hate it so much. I've been missing out on so many things classes, assignments, tutorials and my class needs me to lead them for a coming event. But i'm stuck here at home *RESTING*. Gosh, i'm frustrated & disappointed. I don't really know why this Skin Infection have to occur on me? I mean i wasn't the only one that got lost in the mountain, and yet i'm the only one with this problem now. The worst is the worry you create on your Mum and those you love and the Money spent on medications. Gaaah. Well, look on the bright side, at least i didn't end up in a hospital bed.

It really stinks, forcefully having to stay at home like a prisoner, feeling helpless and knowing at the back of your mind where you have so much things to be done. It really really stinks. Hope i recover soon...