Being a Leader...

You know, ever since coming to college i've or i believe God has been thrusting me into many leadership roles. I mean, i'm place in positions where i have to lead, to decide, to plan and to determine. I mean, its true, it's a good right? Being able to lead & learn at the same time to be an even better leader.

But at times, honestly it can get so tiring & hard. Being a Good Leader ain't an easy thing. It ain't. Sometimes, the people whom you lead, can expect so much from you. As if your a God. And when you don't meet up to their expectation, or in the process screw up, well here comes all the arrows. Complaints & blunt attacks which, well at times can really be hurtful or depressing.

Honestly, before this i never thought of myself as a leader. I've always look at myself as a worker, who takes orders from people and obediently just follow. However, even though i was bless before to have various opportunity to lead, but i mean yea i never looked at myself as a Strong Leader on which people can really rely & depend on. Honestly, i know my faults. I'm indecisive at times, i stall in making decisions, i worry too much and think too much. With that said, why would anyone follow me or let me lead them? There are many Leaders out there whom are better than myself.

But even with all my faults, yet God has choose me. Why? God choose me to lead my PR Class. Why? God choose me to lead the events in my class Why? And now God is choosing me to Lead Christian Fellowship in my College. Why? Why? Sometimes, i ask myself & God this questions. Even with all my faults yet God choose me.

I guess its like how God choose Moses in the bible huh? Even with all his faults, yet God choose him to lead His people. I'm not saying i'm Moses, where i'm totally not. But i can relate to how Moses felt. Why me of all the other people?

They say Leaders are Made. Maybe that's what God is doing now? I've been stretch to my limits lately, Plannings, organizing, directing, solving problems & making decisions. Having so much responsibilities on my shoulders. Honestly, it's tiring. But, true enough from my heart, i'm enjoying all i'm experiencing now even the all the challenges which comes my way in my Heart. I look at myself, woah Beven. I can't believe it. Your actually looked to as a Leader. People actually depend and follow you. Woah, seriously? Even i find myself hard to believe it.

I just pray & hope i'll be able to continue to lead with wisdom, courage & patience and become a better leader to not disappoint God nor the people God has given me to Shepherd.

God, help me to Lead the people which you've given me to Shepherd with Love, Patience & Wisdom. Amen...